Am I doing this right?

The inner monologue of a reporter

By Liv Reilly

It’s starting to get real. 

I’m typing this up late at night while snuggled into a booth at the library, and I’m starting to realize — we’re actually doing this. 

I was looking at my calendar today when I realized we’ll be heading to the airport to hop on a flight to San Juan in less than three weeks. After my revelation that the month of February has gone by way too fast, I soon had another revelation that I feel both completely prepared and utterly lost. 

My team is focusing on the community and cultural aspects of Puerto Rico, and the past few weeks we have been hopping on Zoom calls in between (and sometimes skipping) classes with people from the island and obsessively searching Puerto Rico on Google Maps. 

And while I’m doing everything I can to set myself up for success, I can’t help but ask myself — am I doing this right?

Of course, when I asked myself that question, 10 others quickly followed behind it. Have I studied enough about the island to feel prepared when we land? Did I brush up enough on my high school Spanish skills yet? Do I need a North Carolina Real ID to get through airport security? 

(You would think the answer to the last question would be the easiest one, but it is not).

When I was asking myself all these questions, I then had a third revelation, and that was that it’s okay to feel utterly lost. It’s okay that I don’t have every single thing perfectly lined up, because I feel completely prepared that every single thing is going to fall into place. 

Last week, I was starting to panic about getting enough sourcing before we leave when Hermes, our on-the-ground support, made sure to tell me that there are some people “you’re just going to run into when you get here.” While it’s everyone’s first instinct to over prepare and have everything ready, Hermes was right. Sometimes you just have to see who you happen to run into throughout your adventures. 

Another thing that has also been on my mind throughout the past few weeks has been respectfully reporting on an island of individuals who might not want to be reported on. A lot of conversations in class have revolved around the fact that relations between mainland Americans and Puerto Ricans might not be the most stable. We’ve talked to some individuals who have been directly affected by gentrification caused by Americans or who felt betrayed when minimal help was offered during the hurricanes. 

So how can I submerge myself in a community while also appropriately interviewing and reporting? How can I make sure not to cross a boundary when I am a white American coming into their space? These are the questions that make me wonder if I’m doing this right. However, I think that our team’s talent, drive and personality is going to be what gets us through this and help us answer these questions in the most respectful and passionate way. 

While these next few weeks are going to be filled with packing lists, brief Duolingo lessons and a team bonding trip to the ropes course, I feel confident that everything is going to end up how it should. 

So, to answer my question — I think we’re doing this right. 

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